Since its near the date where we got engaged, I thought I’d do a little post about our slightly unconventional proposal day!
We’ve been together for 8.5 years now. I had always been anti-marriage. Great for other people but it wasn’t for me. It took me by surprise when I knew I wanted to marry my now husband, I knew fairly early on that he was the man for me! But wanting to be married surprised me. I suddenly realised I wasn’t anti-marriage, I was anti-wedding. The thought of even a small wedding of around 50 people made me feel sick.
We had been together for 4 years, and I knew he wasn’t going to propose any time soon. He’s of the attitude, if things are going well, do not change it in any shape or form!
So I decided I’d take the bull by the horns, and propose to him! February the 29th was coming up – traditionally, in the UK, the day women are allowed to ask men to marry them. I really didn’t care about the meaning of the day much, I mean really?! I am allowed to ask him to marry me whenever I want to! But I chose that day anyways, I did like that it had a history with it, I like the 29th of February, and the fact that we could celebrate our engagement once every 4 years! We are useless at anniversaries, so once every 4 years is good and it makes it more special! In my excitement and nervousness I told a couple of friends, and my family, and wondered if I should get him a ring, and how I should do it?
I didn’t get him a ring, he’s not a jewellery person, asking him to wear a wedding ring would be enough! So I, in true cheesy style, made a ring out of a $1 bill (we don’t have £1 notes here anymore), and folded it into a ring, so the number 1 was on the front, because he’s my number one and all that! I also came out with a huge speech I was going to say, ok it wasn’t huge, a couple of sentences, but still. I would propose in front of a ruin of a chapel, because its pretty and in a nice spot, and on the walk where we walked our bombproof dog nearly every day.
It came to the day. The dreaded day. I was bricking it. What if he says no? Am I pushing him too fast? Why am I doing this? This is too stressful!!!! As usual he was late home from work and it was almost dark. I was incredibly nervous and getting worse by the minute! So he got home, and I pretty much dragged him out of the door, with the dog, to do an evening walk. We got to the chapel, and it was near enough dark. I could hardly see him, when I asked him to stop, I managed to just about choke out the words I love you, can we get married? Yep, that was it. None of my romantic planned speech, I didn’t kneel or anything. We basically stood in the dark, and I mumbled something about getting married. How romantic.
He did say yes, which was a relief! He also said it wasn’t much of a surprise, gee thanks, I must have been clingier and seemed more marriage obsessed then I thought! He liked the little ring I made, once he got it home to actually see it. He still has it today. And on the plus side we are now married!
I like that I had the confidence to propose, even if it was badly! To ask for what I wanted, voice how I felt and say where I wanted our relationship to go. I am so happy to be with a man, who didn’t mind me proposing and genuinely liked it. I do have moments of doubt though, did he really want to marry me? Did I just push him into it? Would he ever have proposed? Did I take that experience away from him? How would he have proposed to me? Do people think he’s less of a man because I asked and not him? I know these doubts were made worse by some people’s reaction to me doing the proposing. Most people thought it was great, even if it was odd! But some people thought it was wrong, and told me so.
In any case, none of those questions and self doubt matter. I proposed, he said YES, we got married nearly 4 years ago, and we are happy!
If I hadn’t have proposed, I think I’d still be waiting.