The incompetent housewife

The incompetent housewife. That’s me.

I don’t know how I’m so bad at this?! I have always been messy. But my house has always been clean. Now it’s a whole different story.

Running my own business and looking after a toddler and 2 dogs is messier, no, dirtier than I thought. I just summoned the energy to tidy and hoover downstairs. There are suspect patches on the carpet. They weren’t there yesterday. What are they?!?! I’m not sure there’s any point in tidying and cleaning anymore. I can hear my daughter throwing toys around in the kitchen whilst I take a moment to write this. The clattering is deafening. But I’m not stopping her! Shortly the dogs will come in from the garden, and trample even more of their muddy pawprints all through the house. It’s to be destroyed in no time at all.

I randomly discover things. Bags mainly. Today it was a bag of tea towels and cloths stuffed behind the bin. I’ve been missing these for weeks. Coco had emptied half the drawer into a bag and hidden it. And I hadn’t seen it.

I haven’t cleaned the bathroom in ages. With a needy dog and Coco shadowing my every move with intrigue, it does make it tricky!

I don’t iron anything. Yep you heard me, not a single thing, ever. I genuinely don’t know where my iron is.

Its such mayhem downstairs, I haven’t even made it upstairs to clean in, well, forever. Apart from Coco’s room. Our bedroom is a disaster. You can barely get to the bed for all the piles of clean clothes that haven’t been put away, all the Christmas stuff we don’t know what to do with (yes still!), bags for charity from our last clearout weeks months ago. And I couldn’t tell you the last time I dusted in there.

You probably think I really need to get my act together.

But all of this imperfection and disorganised chaos, I think is a good thing.

Why?

Because I spend my time doing what is most important to me.

Cleaning can wait. Its not the end of the world if I don’t do it today, or tomorrow. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it bugs me that the house looks like a toddler/dog tornado ripped through it, and I will clean like a frenzied mad woman. But on the whole, its all ok. I get to work in the mornings, I get to be outside, sometimes with my daughter, sometimes not. If not she is spending quality time with her grandma. Then we get home, have lunch together, and then we do things. Whether it be go to the park, the zoo, painting, making junk art, play dough, shopping, on lazy days watching a film and chatting about it and dancing to the songs, or going for a cake and a coffee/juice. Then once its time for me to make dinner our focused Mommy and Coco time stops, and I turn into frantic Mommy! I cook, I clean the kitchen, I hoover, shove toys in the toy box, sweep and hang up washing. Yes I am slightly possessed for at least an hour. But I do the bare minimum.

I don’t want my daughter to look back and just remember me cleaning and stressing out about the house. I want us to spend time together, and for her to remember that. I want us to have a good bond, I want to enjoy her. I don’t want to just spend my day working and cooking and cleaning with her entertaining herself, that doesn’t feel right to me. I love the fact that I am relaxed enough that she can get covered in paint, cover the kitchen in paint. We do a lot of paint throwing onto paper and foot/hand painting. I don’t stress over it. Its just paint! Play dough – same story, yes it ends up all over the floor and ground into clothes, but it comes out/sweeps up. Its all good. Sometimes on walks she wants to lay in a puddle, so long as she’s got all her waterproofs on that’s great. Chill out in a puddle, why the hell not!? Yes my daughter probably looks a mess a lot of the time, she’s muddy or coloured in, come to think of it I probably am too! But she’s happy and so am I.

For many months I felt incredibly overwhelmed every single day. How was I meant to work and get the house done and spend time with her. I couldn’t get my priorities straight. I have never ever been a consistently tidy person, I’m your stereotypical creative chaos type! So why since becoming a Mother did I feel all this pressure to be the ‘perfect’ housewife and the ‘perfect’ mother. Because of this Coco was the one missing out. It took me far too long to work out this routine we now have. It works so well for us, and I can see the change in her and me. I still have days where I feel totally overwhelmed, I get cross with hubby as soon as he walks in the door. Why can’t he do more around the house? Because he works insane hours that’s why! But overall I feel much better. I have to remember that I wasn’t the perfect housewife before I had Coco, why should I become that now? And that I am the perfect Mom. I am Coco’s perfect Mom. We sing, we dance, we chase each other round the house squealing and jump out at each other. We leap over and creep around imaginary snakes that have invaded the house. We race cars. We wind up the needy dog. I encourage her creative side and for her to try new and scary things, even if she does get muddy or fall over. She is growing, becoming braver by the day and less scared of getting things wrong. I am there to pick her up and cuddle her when things go wrong, to encourage her when she’s worried to try something, and to yell ‘YAY’ and ‘YIPPPEEEEEE’ with her when it goes well!  I am her perfect Mom. She is my perfect girl.

So housework, you can do one, I’ll come back for you when Coco’s at school. Maybe not even then! At least not reliably!

Yours
The proudly incompetent housewife
xxx

Two Tiny Hands
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35 Comments Add yours

  1. I’m with you on the housework, it can totally wait. I wish I could be relaxed about paint and play doh though, the thought of them brings me out in hives 😬
    #FamilyFun

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay I’m not alone! Aw bless you, I think I must be a Jackson Pollock type artist at heart! Thanks for stopping by 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Amina says:

    Wow this sounds exactly like me! I don’t know how people get anything done! I am so lucky I have a husband that does a lot around the house. Even when he looks after the girls he still manages to swell but I just can’t!

    Amina xx | http://www.AliandHer.com #abloggingoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow he sounds like a super husband! Could I borrow him to clean my house?!? 😂
      I just realised it was more important for me not to try to be perfect and enjoy coco instead of stressing about everything else! Even though I’m happy being a messy mom it is nice to know I’m not alone in this! Thanks for reading x

      Like

  3. Aleena Brown says:

    I’m so glad I’ve read this morning. I’ve always been a messy cow and I think when the kids came along I thought ‘I better get on top of this now’ Result being I had a mini meltdown pat night when Mr C got home “every day is like the same day on repeat of cook, clean, wipe bum, change nappy, repeat, and me and Amelia don’t have fun anymore”
    He told me to forget about the housework, so forget is what I shall do! Thank you x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Welcome to the no/minimal housework club! I’m much happier and so is Coco, we are having so much fun again, it’s so easy to lose that in amongst trying to be perfect, for us it works so well! Enjoy having fun with Amelia again 😁 and thankyou so much for reading! X

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Aleena Brown says:

    PS excuse my typos, forgot to proofread 😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. serenityyou says:

    I have always been messy, It’s because I hoard things and don’t like to throw things away. But I have having a untidy house! I just do the main jobs like pick up toys, hoover, polish, wash pots and wash clothes. I don’t iron, used too, but chucked it away after I learnt that 10 minutes in the tumble dryer does the job #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Helena says:

    Oh my goodness it sounds like you’ve got your priorities right now. #familyfun

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I totally agree with your statement: I don’t want my daughter to look back and just remember me cleaning and stressing out about the house. I feel the same way. I tend to blast my house on a monday morning when the kids are at school and I’m not working and then try not to worry about it until the next week. Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. barriebismark says:

    I with I could be more like this. I freak out about the housework and stretch myself too thin. Good for you for having your priorities right!
    #ablogginggoodtime

    Like

    1. Something had to give for me! I was miserable! The bonus of only doing the bare minimum, is like today, I did something extra – I hoovered upstairs and did an extra 2 loads of laundry, as a result I feel like superwoman! I couldn’t recommend it enough! Thanks for reading 😁

      Like

  9. twotinyhands says:

    Woo hoo helol yeah! I was shouting along there totally agreeing!! I’m in a my baby won’t be this little forever moment enjoy it while he’s young because it’ll be gone in a flash with my little munchkin. We have loads of fun together!! ‪Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky‬

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Suranjita says:

    Sounds just like me! ‘Housework can wait’, I am totally with you on that.
    Loved going through it and felt good that I am not alone:-) #ablogginggoodtime

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I think I need to take a leaf out of your book! Our house is no way perfect but I’m constantly tidying and ‘doing jobs’ and ‘in a minute!’-ing to my little ones… arghhh it’s a tough juggle! #fortheloveofblog

    Liked by 1 person

  12. aliduke79hotmailcom says:

    completely agree with you, My kitchen is cleaned everyday, apart from that I fit cleaning in where I can, if I don’t get it doen there is always tomorrow.
    #fortheloveofBLOG

    Liked by 1 person

  13. tammymum says:

    I genuinely don’t know where my iron is either. I never iron – I stragically dry! I love this post. I do stress about trying to keep some form of tidy and clean but it always takes a back seat to my and the little ones getting out and about , crafting, singing, dancing, doing whatever they want in the day. The house will be tidy again one day… thanks for joining us at #familyfun xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I figure if I hang things up correctly they won’t dry creased! It works 😁 thankyou for reading

      Like

  14. Amen! I’m just like you. I don’t massively see the point in making the house perfect, when 10 minutes later it’ll be a mess again. Life is too short! #Blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

  15. They’re only small for such a short time, the dust will still be there in a few years but your tiny one won’t. Screw housework, it’s better to be an incompetent housewife than a boring mummy 🙂 #blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

  16. With four kids in our house and 2 dogs I can definitely sympathise with this! You need to start over, write a list of the chores that need doing each week and then assign them to a given day. Doing a little bit everyday will make you feel less overwhelmed. I tend to do it once the baby goes to bed so I get at least a few hours with a clean and tidy house. Thanks for linking up to #fortheloveofBLOG

    Like

  17. As a SAHM I find myself cleaning constantly, the trouble is with two under two I turn my back and its in the state it was before! I often feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall with it. Oh and whats an iron?! Thanks so much for sharing with #Blogstravaganza xx

    Like

  18. I can totally relate with the cleaning. Id much rather spend time with Ben and enjoy the moments together rather than miss out due to a few house chores! #blogstravaganza

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I am a useless housewife! I do zero cleaning. I’m very lucky that my husband is manic about cleaning and does it all. IF he didn’t then we would live in a hazard zone. Completely agree that life is too short and there’s better things to do! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I could do with borrowing your husband once a month or so! There is much better things to do then clean – yes! Thanks for reading 😁

      Like

  20. Lush post, you’re so right. I’ve always been a bit of a neat freak, in fact it really bothers me when the house is untidy but even worse if I feel it needs a good scrub. There’s no time I feel so relaxed quite as much as when my home is sparkling and smells of cleaning fluid! That says a lot about me I know, so I’ve had to re-prioritise since having my children too. I am a stay at home mum and I think sometimes people can assume I have time to keep the house spotless, but actually I’m busy playing and taking them places and I have to remind myself that it’s not an excuse and it’s actually the important work. Thanks for the reminder! Shared on twitter x #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Even though I’m definately not a neat freak, I can relate to the feeling relaxed over a freshly scrubbed house, it is lovely!
      I agree it is so important, it still amazes me how long I took to realise I couldn’t do it all and me the mom I wanted to be! Thankyou for reading and sharing 😁

      Like

  21. Totally agree! I have piles of things everywhere! Stopping back from #kcacols – thanks for linking and hope to see you back next time.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. I felt the same in the beginning. Totally overwhelmed by how much shit I needed to get done and how the hell was i now going to do it. I’ve adapted my ways now though. I still get stressed out when the house is a mess but I just try and turn a blind eye until our daughter is in bed. You’re not incompitent, you’re just a normal great mum #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I’m totally with you on this! I don’t do ironing – totally pointless (except for school uniforms). Whats the point in cleaning and tidying when the kids are running around? They just undo all the work! I do the same, a mad dash when I have a hour x
    #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yay! The mad dash does make me laugh, I think if anyone watched they’d think I was possessed! It’s definately a mad hour! Haha! Thanks for reading 😁

      Like

  24. makinghermama says:

    You are not incompetent!!! Just totally normal 🙂 I was really struggling to find balance between cleaning and playing with/teaching the kids but then we revamped our days!!! Check out my post http://www.makinghermama.com/2017/01/16/burn-daily-homeschool-schedule-part-2/ (not just about homeschooling). I’ve been a parent for almost 18 years but the younger years were the most challenging/demanding in terms of balancing things. Hang in there mama!!! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  25. There’s a poem isn’t there, about how the dusting and the dishes can wait but our children won’t. Such a good message to remember, and makes me feel better about the current state of my house! x #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Ordinary Hopes says:

    I read this and it was like reading my own thoughts! My youngest is 10 and home educated so I am definitely not getting my act together yet when it comes to housework! My house is messy by my son is happy. #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

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